Judge not, that ye be not judged

I recently have heard of a member in my own ward who is currently disaffected with the church. Although my level of knowledge of this person's specific situation is limited, I have already seen the gossip swirl surrounding his situation. Also, after reading many accounts of others who left the church, it is a daunting threat to think of what I may have to go through.  The culture of the church causes many faithful members to suddenly be as far from Christ-like as you can imagine when dealing with "apostates."  I believe this was originally due to Brigham Young's teachings because from what I have gathered, Joseph Smith was a very accepting person.  What it comes down to is that no matter what the social repercussions are for leaving the church, I can't call myself an honest man and live with myself knowing what I know now about the church.

Although this may be a futile attempt, what I would ask of any who call themselves my family or friends to not presume reasons as to why I am doing what I am unless you are willing to really hear the answers. If anyone will assume that some great sin has led me down this path, I will invoke even the words of Joseph Smith:

"No one need suppose me guilty of any great or malignant sins. A disposition to commit such was never in my nature."

 Likewise, if anyone assumes that my reason for leaving the church is because it is the “easy way out”, think again. This has been one the hardest decisions of my life.  Making a choice because you know it is right even though it will cause enormous amounts of heartache and pain to those I love is by no means easy.  I relate this to the story of Aron Ralston cutting off his own arm to save his life.  I must cut out this part of my life in order to live an authentic life. This is a very painful process and if there were any other way other than lying to myself and those around me, I would do it.

A quote that I have really enjoyed in regards to how I feel about how I have been raised and how that has influenced my personal world views is from the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer:

"If, in early childhood, certain fundamental views and doctrines are paraded with unusual solemnity, and an air of the greatest earnestness never before visible in anything else; if, at the same time, the possibility of a doubt about them be completely passed over, or touched upon only to indicate that doubt is the first step to eternal perdition, the resulting impression will be so deep that, as a rule, that is, in almost every case, doubt about them will be almost as impossible as doubt about one's own existence.”

One of my biggest beliefs on these issues is if truth really is truth, then it will stand up to scrutiny. We should not fear scrutiny. The rest of my posts will display my own scrutiny to the issues. The church certainly discourages its members from finding truth unless it is the church’s brand of truth.   I would caution anyone who wants to label my scrutiny as anti-Mormon, particularly because the bulk of the facts come from church sources or personal sources close to the church.  The sad thing is that these things are often blatantly held back from the average church member under the guise of the “milk before meat” mantra. Unfortunately there isn’t anybody in the church that is capable of handling the “meat”, not even general authorities as they preface any meeting with the general public by disallowing doctrinal questions.

I am in no way attempting to post a comprehensive breakdown of these issues but rather some basic information and sources I find useful. I would never rely on a single source to find truth and I have researched these issues in depth so please don't assume that my research is based on a few limited sources. Even if you steer clear of obvious "anti-mormon"  literature and just dig into valid historical records and even church documents you can come to similar conclusions. Please leave your own emotional biases and preconceived notions at the door because if there is truth to be found I want to find it no matter what the cost.