Where's the revelation?

I'm the first to admit that if the church has continuing revelation like Moses or even Joseph Smith's accounts, I want to be a member of that church. So where is the real doctrine? Where are the visions? If there are still visions, why are the apostles afraid to share? Joseph wasn't afraid to share sacred experiences (even if the stories changed). What new doctrine has come to pass since Joseph? No flip flops in church? Single ear piercings? No skinny jeans while taking tests? Well here are two examples of how it is now done with the "prophets."

In this clip, if you go to the 3 min mark you will hear the following from Dallin Oaks regarding how missionaries are called:
"He said, you're the servant of the Lord, and your action is the Lord's action. You study it out in your mind, and you assign them, and they're assigned by the Lord."

So they don't need to actually get recognizable revelation. They just study it out in their mind, then they make a decision and then they claim it's the Lord doing it. In today's church, "revelation" goes from leaders to God and not the other way around. 

This was also implied by an interview Spencer Kimball gave after the so-called "revelation" ending racist practices in 1978. He was asked how it came about. He answered:

"I asked the Twelve not to go home when the time came. . . . I offered the final prayer and I told the Lord that if it wasn't right, if He didn't want this change to come in the Church, that I would be true to it all the rest of my life. . . ."

In other words the "revelation" was already decided before it was taken to the Lord. They prayed and took the fact that they felt good about what they had already decided to mean the Lord wants it. Now with revelation in the church it is the arrogant attitude of "if we like it it must be from God."

That's how revelation happens these days. Apostles feel good about something and then they claim that the Lord told them when it was really the other way around. Far from what Joseph claimed and far from what missionaries proselytize. The church I am still a member of is not the church it once was or the church it claims to be.

The "sacred revelation" of polygamy was used as an excuse for Joseph's multiple sexual partners

Most LDS members think that Brigham Young started polygamy and the apologist reasons for this are many and are ridiculous. The truth is that Brigham had quite the mentor in Joseph Smith:
http://www.mormonthink.com/joseph-smith-polygamy.htm#other

Now hearing how Joseph started polygamy was shocking to me as a life long Mormon. Unfortunately this was the easiest pill to swallow. Enter the term polyandry. I had never heard this term before but it is far worse than polygamy:
http://www.mormonthink.com/joseph-smith-polygamy.htm#other

But don't worry, he didn't actually have sex with them. He did it for sealing purposes only right? Wrong. Even LDS apologists on FAIR as well as FARMS admit that based on the evidence it is likely he had sex with most if not all of his wives.
http://www.mormonthink.com/joseph-smith-polygamy.htm#sex

The best part is that Joseph LIED about it repeatedly! That is ok though. He did it for good reasons. Don't you remember all of those times Jesus lied in the NT? Oh yea, he didn't.
http://www.mormonthink.com/joseph-smith-polygamy.htm#lied

Polygamy and Polyandry in the church is a deep and very confusing issue and I don't mean to oversimplify the issue, but to me it looks like a typical power hungry man trying to get some on the side. Not the first or last man to literally lie his pants off.

By the way, next time you tell any non-Mormon we don't believe in polygamy, you are lying as well. D&C Section 132 has never been removed or revoked. You can't even say we just don't practice it anymore. Just ask the countless "celestial" polygamist apostles that are sealed to multiple women over the years and even today. 

My purpose isn't to incriminate Joseph or all of the Mormon polygamists but to rather show how the church hides this truth from its members. The church purposefully hides all evidences of polygamy but never outright denies it. This causes good believing Mormons to defend their church ignorantly all the while allowing the church to have plausible deniability on the matter. 

The LDS church conceals its finances

A very large problem I have with the LDS church is the fact that despite its claim of divine perfection, it conceals its finances from its own members.  What possible reason would such an divinely operated organization have for lacking transparency with it's finances? I believe the only reasonable explanation it does not disclose this information is because there really is something to hide.  Take your pick of things they don't want you to see: General Authority pay(yes this does happen), lawsuit settlements, extravagant "corporate" spending, non-religious business investments (i.e. City Creek) just to name a few.

I will admit, paying tithing has always been a hard thing for me to do but I have always done so. I will no longer give my family's hard earned money to a corporation that won't disclose what is being done with it. If I had a way to give it to the Lord I would but to call tithing "the Lord's money" is laughable.

No matter how you slice it, I can't see Jesus doing what Thomas Monson did at the ribbon cutting for City Creek- “One, two, three—let’s go shopping!”

Really? Divine? Come on, Really?

Here are a couple of the many available links for you to refer to on this matter:

http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-07-10/how-the-mormons-make-money
http://mormonthink.com/tithing.htm

Also, after seeing first hand how easily bishops can be extorted in regards to fast offerings, I'd advise against paying them at all. All you have to do is act semi-interested in becoming active and "the windows of heaven" will certainly open up in an effort to schmooze you back into activity.  Now I know how to supplement my welfare, WIC, unemployment and food stamps shall I ever lose my job. Don't get me wrong, i acknowledge the great amounts of resources, time and money the church spends caring for the needy but if the whole system is pure, disclose it!

I certainly advocate donating to charity but I plan to donate my time and money to real charities that make the rubber meet the road more effectively.

The LDS Church has lied and deliberately concealed historical facts to maintain a clean image

Church leaders have for years been guilty of "Lying for the Lord." By my definition this is lying to others about the truth because for whatever reason you believe it is what the lord wants you to do "for the cause."  This type of exception to the rule decision making can be seen with Nephi murdering Laban. When Joseph wrote this into scripture, he gave himself a get out of jail free card he could play with believers for whatever he needed. Brigham and many others have continued to use lying for the lord as their tool when they thought it was convenient.  How can anyone trust these people? I have always been taught in church and by the prophets that omission is also lying.  The church is constantly withholding information from the general membership even to this day.  CES employees have been told that if information isn't uplifting and testimony building it shouldn't be taught.  Boyd Packer made his infamous quote I mentioned earlier in a post "Some things that are true are not very useful" which I find comical.  I can't begin to wonder why each prophet has continued the lies (ego, personal gain, the greater good) but there is no question that they have. 

My favorite source on this is from a former CES teacher that I think is great. They are broken up so you will have to watch each segment but it is worth it:
http://youtu.be/gKt7ozdKeBk

Here are a few other links I like:
http://www.mormonthink.com/lying.htm
http://www.exmormon.org/lying.htm
http://www.mormonwiki.org/Lying_for_the_Lord

The Book of Mormon is not a true historical account as claimed

There are so many problems with the BofM that it is ridiculous to think I ever believed in it. Yes it has good but so does Dr. Seuss. This doesn't mean I should base my life on it. (You will have to pardon my extreme examples I give but it is just how I am. Just wait until I use the Nazis in my examples.) Anyway, just a few points:

A. DNA evidence overwhelmingly proves that Native Americans are not form the middle east
B. No archaeological evidence exists of these massive battles, horses, steel, wheels, glass .........
C. Joseph Smith plagiarized from the bible and other literary texts of his time
D. Hill Cumorah has no evidence of battles

E.
F.
.....................
Z.

http://mormonthink.com/book-of-mormon-problems.htm

Joseph Smith was not a prophet

A.  Multiple conflicting versions of the First Vision, in which aspects of the story as fundamental as the number of personages who appeared to Joseph Smith during the First Vision varies from one angel, to Jesus Christ alone, to God the Father and Jesus Christ as two personages, to one version in which hundreds of angels appeared to Joseph
http://mormonthink.com/firstvisionweb.htm#therareseveral

B. Could God not find someone to restore his church who wouldn't marry other men’s wives behind their back while keeping it a secret from his wife and the church's members for years?
http://www.wivesofjosephsmith.org/PDFBooklet/PDFBooklet.pdf

C. Joseph Smith brought about the Book of Mormon by putting his face in a hat and staring at a seer stone while the church depicts him bringing about the book of Mormon by translating the golden plates. Joseph often wasn't in the same room as the plates during translating.
http://mormonthink.com/transbomweb.htm

D. Joseph claimed he was better than Jesus-  Address of the Prophet - His Testimony Against the Dissenters at Nauvoo. “In all these affidavits, indictments, it is all of the devil--all corruption. Come on! ye prosecutors! ye false swearers! All hell, boil over! Ye burning mountains, roll down your lava! for I will come out on the top at last. I have more to boast of than ever any man had. I am the only man that has ever been able to keep a whole church together since the days of Adam. A large majority of the whole have stood by me. Neither Paul, John, Peter, nor Jesus ever did it. I boast that no man ever did such a work as I. The followers of Jesus ran away from Him; but the Latter-day Saints never ran away from me yet.”

E.
F.
.....................
Z.

I'll have to add more later. Bottom line- the best word for Joseph isn't prophet but rather profit- as in he was in it to profit his own ego, pocketbook and sexual desires.

Ironic Hypocracy

Just today a Facebook friend of mine posted the following in regards to politics:

"It's so easy to be swooned by Pres. Obama, or anyone as charismatic. However, if after you let your emotions be taken by them you use logic, actual facts, truth, intelligence, and finally knowledge of what they're actually talking about, you'd understand why Conservatives see right through them and why the majority of Democrats are young and the majority of Republicans are old. Interpret the words "young" and "old" how you will."

I don't necessarily agree or disagree with his comment politically but I thought it amazing how applicable this statement is in regards to religion.  If take your emotions out of it and use logic, actual facts, truth, intelligence, and finally knowledge of what is true in regards to religion, your eyes will be opened. 

Now, this is a good person I am quoting and I mean no disrespect but I am willing to bet that as with most LDS members, this person would never be willing to apply that same statement to his own religion.

Judge not, that ye be not judged

I recently have heard of a member in my own ward who is currently disaffected with the church. Although my level of knowledge of this person's specific situation is limited, I have already seen the gossip swirl surrounding his situation. Also, after reading many accounts of others who left the church, it is a daunting threat to think of what I may have to go through.  The culture of the church causes many faithful members to suddenly be as far from Christ-like as you can imagine when dealing with "apostates."  I believe this was originally due to Brigham Young's teachings because from what I have gathered, Joseph Smith was a very accepting person.  What it comes down to is that no matter what the social repercussions are for leaving the church, I can't call myself an honest man and live with myself knowing what I know now about the church.

Although this may be a futile attempt, what I would ask of any who call themselves my family or friends to not presume reasons as to why I am doing what I am unless you are willing to really hear the answers. If anyone will assume that some great sin has led me down this path, I will invoke even the words of Joseph Smith:

"No one need suppose me guilty of any great or malignant sins. A disposition to commit such was never in my nature."

 Likewise, if anyone assumes that my reason for leaving the church is because it is the “easy way out”, think again. This has been one the hardest decisions of my life.  Making a choice because you know it is right even though it will cause enormous amounts of heartache and pain to those I love is by no means easy.  I relate this to the story of Aron Ralston cutting off his own arm to save his life.  I must cut out this part of my life in order to live an authentic life. This is a very painful process and if there were any other way other than lying to myself and those around me, I would do it.

A quote that I have really enjoyed in regards to how I feel about how I have been raised and how that has influenced my personal world views is from the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer:

"If, in early childhood, certain fundamental views and doctrines are paraded with unusual solemnity, and an air of the greatest earnestness never before visible in anything else; if, at the same time, the possibility of a doubt about them be completely passed over, or touched upon only to indicate that doubt is the first step to eternal perdition, the resulting impression will be so deep that, as a rule, that is, in almost every case, doubt about them will be almost as impossible as doubt about one's own existence.”

One of my biggest beliefs on these issues is if truth really is truth, then it will stand up to scrutiny. We should not fear scrutiny. The rest of my posts will display my own scrutiny to the issues. The church certainly discourages its members from finding truth unless it is the church’s brand of truth.   I would caution anyone who wants to label my scrutiny as anti-Mormon, particularly because the bulk of the facts come from church sources or personal sources close to the church.  The sad thing is that these things are often blatantly held back from the average church member under the guise of the “milk before meat” mantra. Unfortunately there isn’t anybody in the church that is capable of handling the “meat”, not even general authorities as they preface any meeting with the general public by disallowing doctrinal questions.

I am in no way attempting to post a comprehensive breakdown of these issues but rather some basic information and sources I find useful. I would never rely on a single source to find truth and I have researched these issues in depth so please don't assume that my research is based on a few limited sources. Even if you steer clear of obvious "anti-mormon"  literature and just dig into valid historical records and even church documents you can come to similar conclusions. Please leave your own emotional biases and preconceived notions at the door because if there is truth to be found I want to find it no matter what the cost.

Where did this start?

When I think about what landmark event started my path to disillusion there really wasn't one. Throughout my life there have always been questions. Why did early leaders practice polygamy? Why was the church historically racist? Why does the church so strongly discourage deep research into non correlated church history (otherwise labeled as anti-Mormon literature)? Why did Joseph Smith copy so much of the temple ceremony from masonry? How is church money spent? Why is the "most perfect and true church" so secretive about it's finances? These questions among others were always glazed over and "put on the shelf" so to say. The response was so often comments such as "God knows" or "we will learn all of these things in due time".  All I needed to do was read my scriptures, pray and have faith. These responses never really satisfied my inquisitive mind.

What it comes down to is truth. For some reason we allow religion to have the least amount of testing to validate truth. In the LDS church, truth comes down to the spirit which is a personal feeling you get confirming the truth- just as Moroni promised in the Book of Mormon. But why do millions of other people get similar "burning in their bosom" type feelings in regards to their specific faiths? Why do I get that feeling when I see an American flag raised while hearing the national anthem? What it comes down to is that we are human and our minds and emotions are fallible. Using a simple emotional response is not a valid test of truth, particularly when our emotions are susceptible to confirmation bias.  What it comes down to is that truth is truth. Profound I know. Truth doesn't need apologetics, excuses or outlandish reasoning. Truth won't change. My goal is to find the truth. 

Some of my favorite quotes that relate to my search are below. I the antagonistic part of me enjoys using church leaders' own words against themselves but either way you look at it they ring true. 

"Each of us has to face the matter - either the Church is true, or it is a fraud. There is no middle ground. It is the Church and kingdom of God, or it is nothing."  

     ~Gordon B. Hinckley

“We should gather all the good and true principles in the world and treasure them up, or we shall not come out true Mormons.” 

     ~ Joseph Smith

“One of the grand fundamental principles of Mormonism is to receive truth. Let it come from where it may.” 

     ~ Joseph Smith

“The fundamental principle that has guided my religious life is that I need believe only what is true. The gospel is the truth as learned or discovered by whatever means and tools I can lay my hand or mind on.” 

     ~ Henry Eyring

And one of my favorites:
"Some things that are true are not very useful"
     ~ Boyd K. Packer

The beginning of the end

I wasn't sure what the best way was to accumulate my thoughts as I make the transition through disaffection with the LDS church so I have decided to use this blog as my own personal journal and record of my journey. I am sure the likelihood of drawing much attention or commentary from my posts is very minimal but my posts will certainly be very therapeutic in their own right.

Right now I am terrified. I am terrified that when I "come out" about my non-belief to my wife, family and friends that my life will end. Funny thing is that to some extent I feel like I finally can relate to how someone must feel when they "come out" with their sexuality and this has given me great empathy trhat I didn't have before.  In regards to disaffection with the church, it is not comforting to hear the horror stories of other people who lose their wife, kids, friends, jobs and pretty much everything they have and love. This is why for now I wil post in annonimity.

I was born "in the covenant" here in Utah and aside from my two year mission I have always lived here.  I had a good upbringing and I do have a loving family. I have a wife and kids that I love and hope that when they know what I really believe they will still love me. Unfortunately, the Mormon culture historically has shown that the so called "gospel of love" tears families apart when a family member no longer fits the mold. I know I generalize with this issue but no matter how much faith I have in the love of my family I feel like I am playing Russian roulette with my life as I know it.

Anyway, I'll share my thoughts as I take this journey and hopefully the story will end well. Feel free to share your thoughts by leaving your comments.